Spill The Beans

There was a time when I would have responded very hatefully to “advice” from someone who knows the same amount, or less, about something than myself.

But I think I’m finally growing up because now I just accept it (and/or) laugh it off.

I am not actively looking for a new job. And by active, I mean dedicating my entire day to the job search. Having two other jobs at the same time really puts on a crunch on free time for such activities.

Or any activities really.

However, despite my drawback on the job search, I feel that I have learned quite a bit about what’s good and what’s not. Especially in this economy that has left us all a little more than bitter. And, in some cases, (aka me) moonlighting at a coffee shop.

I recently got some advice from someone about relocating to another city for a job. S/he suggested to me that maybe employers did not want to hire us because of the southern address that appears on our resumes. In fact, s/he said that an employer in New Jersey recently offered, for example, that when she thought of people from TN she came up with the words “hick, uneducated and lazy”. Therefore, wouldn’t it be best to get a fake address in the city you wanted to relocate to? After all, UPS sells real addresses. And you can get a pay as you go phone. Brilliant, right?

I’ll admit. Its tempting. However, its also far from foolproof. 

It is my opinion that employers are smarter than we give them credit for. Especially in a lousy economy. Not only that, but with all the information made readily available via the internet, all one has to do is google your name to find out anything he/she wants to know about you. Also, what if you do actually get called for an interview? And they expect you downtown in ten minutes? 

You might be sweatin’ it a little bit.

I think honesty is the best way to go. Combined with hard work, networking and continually looking for projects to work on and ways to improve your skills. The workforce consists of people from all backgrounds. Northerners and southerners alike.

If you’ve got it, they will want you.

That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

One of my favorite songs is “Australia” by The Shins. Its honestly really ridiculous, but its basically the story of my life.

At least right now anyway.

My favorite line says “You’d be damned to be one of us girl, faced with the dodo’s conundrum”.

Basically, feeling like you can fly and not being able to. 

I have about 10 million ideas every day of things that I want to do. Projects that I want to work on. People I want to reach. But, thanks to a terrible economy and a plethora of life lessons I had left to learn, I am forced to work at a snail’s pace. Feeling like I can fly, but learning to walk first.

I’m lucky to have both the jobs that I have. One that teaches me about the world I am so curious about and allows me to educate others. And the other that allows me to reach people through a medium I am personally passionate about (aka coffee). So why do I come home some nights frustrated out of my mind?

Because its as if I’m standing at a locked door, holding the keys, trying to find the one that fits.

I have experience working with real clients throughout the community I live in. I’ve written sections upon sections of marketing plans that have been implemented. I have done well on the LSAT. I have completed a public relations campaign that got high honours. I’ve learned French and studied in France. 

I’ve done everything “they” told me to do.

Its frustrating to know what you want, but be powerless to do it. As I said, I’m fortunate to have the jobs I have. For so many reasons. And I’ve been blessed to learn life lessons every day that are priceless. And to meet people who have become more like family than anything else to me, people that I cannot imagine not knowing. And to face trials that I thought would crush me, but just left a slight scar. And to rediscover a place I never wanted to see again post-graduation.

I hold on to this list of positive things every day. Its what keeps me going and gives me hope. I know I have things left to do before something else comes along. I just hope I can continue to learn and be content as I go. That way, when the next thing comes along, I’ll not only have professional expertise…but life expertise (which counts more anyway).

And, as The Shins puts it, “keep your wick in the air and your feet in the fetters”.

Ok. I can handle that.

Ok, I’m not really a beggar. BUT I wanted to share with you people my efforts at gaining support for Africa. Here is an excerpt from a letter I have sent/will continue to send to various friends, organizations, relatives and random people on the street. 

Shameless? Maybe. Educational? You betcha. 

“In May 2009 I graduated from Western Kentucky University. During my time at WKU I studied Public Relations and French. I studied communication because I think it is a powerful tool to promote change in the world. I also wanted to be able to give a voice to those  who do not have the opportunity to be heard on their own. I studied French to give myself a  global perspective, as I am very interested in international affairs.

 My goal in life is to help as many people as possible. Humanitarian work is very important to me, as well as the lives of those living in poverty across the world. I have been given so much and feel it is my duty to give some of that back. Whether that be by building houses, shoveling manure, or sharing the word of Christ (or all of the above).

 I have been given the amazing opportunity of traveling to Mozambique, Africa this summer to be an intern for an organization there.  The name of the non-profit community is Malo Ga Kujilana. It is a non-profit resource center that serves the surrounding community while sharing Christ’s love.  Further information about the center can be found at http://kujilana.org. I encourage you to take a moment and read about the organization.

 I plan to travel to Mozambique on June 18, 2010 and come back a month later. I will be able to live on a small amount of money while there, but must contribute some in order to keep the center running. Also, plane tickets to Africa can be expensive. I do not want to lose the opportunity to serve there because of money.”

Obviously I am not asking any of you for money. Prayers are always accepted though!

I am becoming increasingly excited about this opportunity. I want to keep you informed so you can come along for the ride. Its going to be an incredible journey. In fact, it already has been!

I locked myself out of my office this morning.

Brilliant, as usual. 

But I’m almost glad that I did. Because now I have an excuse to hang out in the office next door. Ah, it feels good to not be in solitary confinement.

The only downside to this is that I risk getting caught slacking off (aka writing this blog) AND I get extra work thrown at me. But hey, when work is somewhat fun its not so bad.

I am enjoying being at work this morning after the interesting afternoon I had yesterday. I slid down a muddy hill to see a friend, took a picture of a beautiful rainbow, got lost during a storm (and rush hour) in Nashville and, after an eye-opening discussion with a friend, became aware of some recent behavior I’m not happy about.

My own behavior, that is.

Even though I have the longest to-do list in the world (Africa, law school, jobs, weddings, grad classes, two jobs, watching LOST), I still find time to mess things up. Mostly in the realm of relationships. 

Whether it be friends, or the multitude of creepy boys I come across, my mind gets easily preoccupied with all the people I come into contact with every day.

I love people. I really do. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be pursuing the “career” that I am.

But when you let yourself get carried away with pleasing people, or making them like you, you begin to run into a problem. The same problem that left me high and dry months ago. (I could explain, but many of you probably know the sordid story already).

I think I’d rather keep on track with all my projects and let the “people stuff” take care of itself for a while. I spend way too much time worrying over whether I said or did the wrong thing that I could use to do something more worthwhile. 

Just pray I don’t become self-absorbed…at least more so anyway

As you may, or may not have noticed..I am slightly crazy.

By that I mean I have decided I want to run a half-marathon.

This is no small task for someone who used to hate running since her first field day in elementary school. However, its something I’ve always wanted to do at least once in my life.

Yeah, ok, quit rolling your eyes.

I am considering starting another blog related to the training I am doing for the half-marathon (which is in April) as well as the underlying purpose for why I am doing it.

Like any other person in the world, I am not above “begging”. As I have mentioned in the past, I am traveling to Africa in the near future. I am staying at a non-profit resource center that serves the community around it. I am eager to help there and want to give something back. 

That is why I have decided to ask for your help (hey, at least I’m not doing a telethon or interrupting your favorite TV show with Sarah Mcglocklen-ridden commercials). 

I am asking for you to “sponsor” me as I run by donating whatever amount you can/would like to give towards my Africa trip. Part of the money will assist me in getting there, but a large portion of the money will be given to the resource center to meet any needs they have. 

I have included the link to the center at the bottom of this blog. I encourage you to go there and learn more about the work that they do…especially so you know where your money is going.

Alright, there was my only serious thoughts for the year. As I said, I am thinking of making a separate blog dedicated to the race. Stay tuned for more details…

http://www.kibogroup.org/mgk.html

For some strange reason I have been very productive lately. 

The reason its strange is because it has been snowing so much that I’ve often felt like I’m living in Alaska. Which is lame, because I don’t even like snow. 

“Back in the day” I would have sat in my pajamas all day, watching an assortment of Lifetime shows and only getting up to eat. But instead, I’ve crossed almost everything off my to-do list that has been badgering me for the past two months.

Maybe I’m growing up? I sure hope not.

Although I’m very pleased with myself for actually doing something productive with my time, I’ve also discovered (again) that I am terrible at relaxing. Maybe it has something to do with my ginger hair. My head is on fire, so I can’t sit still. Or maybe its a mixture of anxiety and fear of becoming complacent.

I think its important to always be working towards something. To have a goal, and/or a dream, and to follow it. Its important to wake up in the morning and get something done. But, its also equally as important to take time out to read a book, eat some ice cream, or just watch trash TV….and not do anything else. 

Its kind of like being on a diet. When you completely eliminate all the “bad stuff” from you diet, then you are more likely to overindulge and get off track. As humans we don’t like being deprived of…anything. So relaxtion in the face of a mountain of tasks is no exception. Burn-out is a huge risk when you never stop to refocus.

Hopefully in the near future I will do a better job of “taking a break”. I think I will stop with coffee breaks…since I have no problem setting aside my life for caffeine.

Oh hi.

Sorry that its been so long. I’ve been, busy.

What’s that? Not a good enough excuse? 

Well, if that’s the case, then I am accepting any and all advice for better excuses of why I haven’t given you full updates on my life every 5 minutes.

So in the past few weeks my life has been pretty average. I wake up. I run (using my fabulous Nike Plus to tell me how awful I am). I go to work. I go to my other work. I watch some TV. I go to bed.

Bet you wish you hadn’t complained about me not blogging now, huh?

But during all of this monotony of every-day life, I have come across a few lessons (because it wouldn’t be me without some unnecessary “profound” thoughts).

I complain a lot. Its a fact. I really have no idea why, but I have a few theories. The main one being that if I ever find myself content then I’m afraid I’ll stop growing/changing. And that terrifies me. I like improvement almost as much as complaining. One of the main things I have complained about is my lack of relationships. Or, to make myself sound as lame as possible, my lack of A relationship (aka boys).

I had my heart broken pretty recently and it wasn’t what I would call fun. To put it in drama queen terms, it was horrifying. One would think after such an experience I would have no desire to even be associated with the male half of the world for a while. However, I am Katherine Heigl in “27 Dresses”. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

I have no intention of getting married any time soon, mind you. Being so young and in so many weddings has its advantages. I have seen lots of people get married for all the wrong reasons (and a couple of them for the right ones, but that’s few and far between). Still, when you are surrounded by sickeningly “happy couples” that you have to buy things for and watch plan a big, fun party…you start to get a little anxious. 

Not only that, but I love people. And being in a relationship, just like being single, has many advantages. Especially when you have a work Christmas party and there’s a “plus one” involved. You’d rather bring your boyfriend than your best friend. True story.

Recently though, I think God heard my cries and answered my prayers…but in a different way than I expected (He’s very good at that).

The other night the girls from the coffee shop and I got together for a “girls night”. We had dinner then went to someones house for dessert and a movie. Most of these girls had boyfriends, and talked about them some (which is understandable), but I wasn’t bombarded with that fact for once. We just had a genuninley good time hanging out and laughing and getting to know each other. 

And as I sat watching the movie, crammed on a couch with 5 other girls, I realized that meaningful relationships don’t always come in guy/girl packages. Sometimes the best relationships, the ones we really need, are the people around us every day. Its nice to have that one, special person. But, that person doesn’t always have to be the boyfriend or the girlfriend. 

I’m not limited to the support and love of one person. I’ve got many.

I hope that I can remember this next time I’m bummed about being “the only single person left in the tri-state area”. I’m not single at all. In fact, I’m so plural its not funny. And maybe, just maybe, there is a reason I don’t have a boyfriend. Maybe right now I’m supposed to play the part of the friend. 

I’m up for that role.

Hi people.

Sorry it’s been so long since I last complained about my life. I recently found out that Twitter isn’t as dumb as I once thought. So basically, I’ve been “tweeting” on you. Get it? Tweeting instead of cheating?

Ok, now that you are done laughing (or I’m done laughing), let’s get down to business.

What has been going on in my ridiculously interesting life, you ask?

I work. From dawn til dusk. Actually, past dusk right on into the dawn again. And when I’m not working I’m thinking of things to work on. That, or I’m trying to make it through one more page of The Time Travelers Wife without crying for the next half hour.

So far I have not been successful in that endeavor.

I’m slowly planning my trip to Africa. I wish I had more time to dedicate to it. You’d think working in a study abroad office would give me lots of time to plan trips. Well, you are wrong. I have a few projects in mind for this trip and have gotten back the confidence I was beginning to lose in it. I will go to Africa, and I will tell a story while there. Mark my words (sorry if your name is actually Mark).

Also, I have been thinking recently that I need to start blogging a bit more (you know, because who really needs sleep?). Unfortunately I am at that age where everything is a big deal and life always seems to be crumbling down around me (aka I still miss that jerk ex-boyfriend, all my friends are engaged, I think I’m fat, my hair might be turning blonde…) and while this is obviously not always great for my mental health, it makes for some great, thought-provoking blogs. Because guess what? The only way I get therapy and help myself…is to tell others what to do and how to “cope”. Good thing? I don’t know. Maybe.

So, here’s to writing more blogs in the near future. I may have to petition for the addition of extra hours in the day, but I think I could win that case. 

K, bye.

Barnes and Noble has become another one of those places I used to enjoy but now avoid at all costs. When I step inside I know instead of being bombarded with an array of interesting books (or magazines in my case) and delicious coffee at my fingertips, I will instead be faced with an array of study materials. I’ll have to trudge to the study aid section, pick out an LSAT study guide and then circle around chairs like a vulture until someone gets up and moves. Then I’ll stare at the book hoping that I’ll retain some information when all I really want to do is flip through the Glamour magazine that somehow found its way under said study book.

I went through this ridiculous routine today, only I actually studied for a bit. As I was making a beeline for the door afterwards, I decided to take an alternate route (to avoid someone I knew of course) and found myself in the biographies section. For some reason I picked up a large book about Mark Twain. Whatever. Then I moved on and saw Sarah Palin cheesing on another cover and quickly dodged that shelf. Then, out of nowhere, I saw the awkward image of Kristin Chenoweth obnoxioiusly glaring at me from the top shelf of the autobiographies. Although I was in a rush to get out of there, I just couldn’t say no to Kristin.

I opened the book and flipped through several random pages and felt like I was reading my own words. She is so quirky and uses stream of consciousness and I just wanted to know more. I actually cared about what she was saying…even though it made no sense. And then I turned the page and I wanted to be her friend. Did you know Kristin is a Christian? I didn’t, until tonight. Possibly because I don’t know much about her except she is kind of weird, like myself. And that she made Wicked more than just some excuse to milk the Wizard of Oz for all its worth again.

Now, I’m not saying Kristin and I are long-lost sisters or anything, but I feel like I can identify with her. I’m quirky and weird and don’t make a lot of sense all the time. BUT, I’m also very comfortable in my quirkiness and want to use it to it’s full advantage. I also want to trust that God is going to put me where He wants me. And use my quirkiness for His own purposes as well.

Maybe I’ll get to defy gravity like her one day.

Or at least  help some tired redhead see some light in a very dark day at Barnes and Noble.