I get confused about what I want a lot of times.
I mean, obviously I want to maintain my existence and I want to have money in my bank account and I want to have friends.
Normal stuff.
But I spend a lot of unnecessary time thinking about what I want in the future. I guess this is a good thing. But its also a hassle.
Because sometimes I forget the presence.
I just have this irrational sense of my own importance. I know that sounds terrible (and possibly confusing) but allow me to explain.
I have never been the prettiest, most athletic, or even the most popular. However, I have always been smart. (Well, book smart. I don’t have the common sense to stop myself from pushing when the door clearly says pull). And I have always had a very reflective nature about me.
Not to mention a strange desire to help people.
So I know that I want to do that. But where? And who? And how?
These questions make for great entertainment when I’m staring at the ceiling at 2am.
I know what I want to do though. I know that I want to fight for people who can’t fight for themselves. I want to do it on an international level. For all those who would tell met that are plenty of people living in poverty around me every day, I say:
You are right.
But there are plenty of resources in place for those around me. People in certain other countries of the world have no say and no resources available to them. They only have themselves and the occasional influx of others to help them if something drastic happens (like a natural disaster).
I don’t want aid to be a political thing. I don’t want to say that just because I’m American I have to solely want to help other Americans. I am more than that. I am a global citizen. I am a human. Because of where I was born I have been given a lot more than I deserve and the tools to help others.
And that’s what I intend to do.
But I just don’t know how to go about it. A lot of people also tell me to just go to Africa and stay there. But that doesn’t seem entirely helpful to me either. I have no useful skills to make their lives easier. I’m more of a story teller. A communicator. I think I need to go to where they are and hear their stories, for sure.
But I want to come back and lobby for the people around me every day to take notice and take heart.
Hopefully one of these days I figure out my niche.
