One of my favorite songs is “Australia” by The Shins. Its honestly really ridiculous, but its basically the story of my life.
At least right now anyway.
My favorite line says “You’d be damned to be one of us girl, faced with the dodo’s conundrum”.
Basically, feeling like you can fly and not being able to.
I have about 10 million ideas every day of things that I want to do. Projects that I want to work on. People I want to reach. But, thanks to a terrible economy and a plethora of life lessons I had left to learn, I am forced to work at a snail’s pace. Feeling like I can fly, but learning to walk first.
I’m lucky to have both the jobs that I have. One that teaches me about the world I am so curious about and allows me to educate others. And the other that allows me to reach people through a medium I am personally passionate about (aka coffee). So why do I come home some nights frustrated out of my mind?
Because its as if I’m standing at a locked door, holding the keys, trying to find the one that fits.
I have experience working with real clients throughout the community I live in. I’ve written sections upon sections of marketing plans that have been implemented. I have done well on the LSAT. I have completed a public relations campaign that got high honours. I’ve learned French and studied in France.
I’ve done everything “they” told me to do.
Its frustrating to know what you want, but be powerless to do it. As I said, I’m fortunate to have the jobs I have. For so many reasons. And I’ve been blessed to learn life lessons every day that are priceless. And to meet people who have become more like family than anything else to me, people that I cannot imagine not knowing. And to face trials that I thought would crush me, but just left a slight scar. And to rediscover a place I never wanted to see again post-graduation.
I hold on to this list of positive things every day. Its what keeps me going and gives me hope. I know I have things left to do before something else comes along. I just hope I can continue to learn and be content as I go. That way, when the next thing comes along, I’ll not only have professional expertise…but life expertise (which counts more anyway).
And, as The Shins puts it, “keep your wick in the air and your feet in the fetters”.
Ok. I can handle that.
